This was a interesting section to study because I do have a strained relationship. My in-laws made it very clear to my husband that they did not see me as part of their family once we got married. I tried really hard to connect with them and create a relationship but they do not believe that the wife comes first. They believe that my husband should "choose" them over me. This isn't just how I feel they have straight up said this to him.
My husband's mother very much wants/has a "Enmeshment" relationship with her children. "Enmeshment describes a process in which parents and children feel they always have to be together; to not be so is considered a personal affront. When enmeshment exists, it is difficult for family members to separate feelings, and loyalty issues are distorted. If a married child can't attend a family event, he feels like he is offending his parents, and his parents will be personally hurt." It is hard because this describes my mother in law perfectly. Thankfully my husband doesn't feel this but is hard because his mom does.
When we got married, many issues arised. Because of this we tried to communicate with them and set boundaries. We tried this for months but they very much so think it is their way or the highway. I try to look at it with an open mind but they have continuously disrespected our boundaries. It is exhauseting to constantly be discussing the problems.
I am glad we had the readings becuase I was able to rerecognize that it is up to me to forgive and I can only be in control of my part. Even though it is hard all I can do at this point is be open to willing to put effort into the relationship with my in-laws when the decided they are ready. There are so many more terrible things his family has done to me or said that I could have included in this post but instead I chose to focus on what is to come rather that the past.
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